GO FLY YOUR KITE! Do we not fly experience like a kite, on the string of attachment in the wind of desire on the beach of solitude under the kind but stern eye of the Absolute? MAINS-TENANTS I fall back into the arms of God that hold me secure like great fluffy clouds on those warm summer days when children jumped with glee into the billowy blue sky. God held me to the bosom of my mother, I took his hand crossing the street with Dad. Never did I worry for the goodness of each day as those arms held me savoring my worth. Now invisible, they still catch me when I fall. Je retombes dans les bras du Bon Dieu qui me tiennent secure-- grands nuages de coton les beaux jours de l'ete quand les enfants sautaient heureux dans le lit vaste du ciel. Le Seigneur me confortait au sein de ma mere, me tenait par la main fiere de mon Papa. Jamais je ne doubtais la bonte de chaque jour ni refusais la promesse de tout moment. Ces bras, invisibles maintenant, me soutiennent toujours. Il n'y a pas de chute possible. BRHATI'S OFFERING I offer you, O mortal man, my golden nectar of excruciating heart, the silver of remorse, the restless mauves of passion and violet throbs of rage, the red declarations of despair, the black of unrequited sex, the false white of imagined securities. These are my hues-- yours to mix and match, artistic licence to kill and to cure! Play with these , O man-- try these effects of light and dark, of depth and perspective. Make unto me a living portrait that I may be satisfied you have received my gifts. Learn to work this pallette lovingly, for here is a beckoning taste of freedom. O man, I call out of thee my truest consort, clothed in radiance, a sun to all, the pillar of my power and varied subtlety. On me he showers unwavering devotion that I may give to all this coloured life. Endure these trials, that you be purified and come unto me, O my man! LOVE IN L.A. Is it only airline wine talking-- bubbles of love potion bursting in the blood at 40,000 feet? So softly, strangely overwhelming to the mind, this life in the body. So curious and adoring of the mystery in these others! Is it all just chemicals-- the whole of life and memory’s traces, the magnetic lines of beauty, the force fields of passions, cells bathed and renewed in each other’s fluids? Is it the intoxicating balm of orange blossom and rose rising above asphalt and traffic, permeating smog in the stillness before crime, pentrating fake indoor courtyards with flourescent light and fabric flowers in this paved-over paradise made safe for democracy? Not even the mind can live here yet bodies keep trying. A lizard suns himself. A humingbird dives. In the distance, the faint sounds of barking seals mingle with the howl of sirens and neighborhood dogs as all the sun beats down. Is it the parched spirit talking from dried up loins, from pointless lineages, my father’s desperation to fulfill his filial duty, his one reason for holding back the orgasm of death? Does a secret faith abide whispered from gene to gene in Granny’s sun-drenched yard on the edge of the ravine, with its sweet scents and optimistic birds and relentless ivy that hasn’t heard the news for a million years, where a child giggles on the other side? NIGHT CRAWLERS Sir Isaac Newton sought the divine in outer space, not in the hearts of infidels and counterfeiters. He discovered gravitation, though not love; force, but not philanthrophy; the nature of light, but never the darkness in his own nature. As a boy his mother left him high and dry-- an empirical fact no one then could study. Astronomers today have modern techniques. What a discovery, then, the obscure band down the middle of the Milky Way, black within white within night. These are the dark mother clouds where stars are born, and to which they return their dust, all light spent-- each photon, however, a ship in a bottle, endless messages silently lapping on distant shores. Star do talk to one another! They tell their life stories, recount long gestations, brilliant careers, explosive midlife crises, and the slow contraction back into original wisdom. They stick together through it all-- the heavenly host-- a gathering to chatter up God’s sorrows, holding each other’s grave attentions while the whole wheel crawls on its belly toward a new day. BEWARE! (all this in parenthesis to save you embarassment, knowing you would prefer I speak of God point to the moon praise the beauties of this and other worlds... anything but hold your gaze and tell you, you are the one who incarnates all this I treasure) DEBRIS The salty warmth of our two cheeks so urgently pressed for salvage these bodies marooned in the shipwrecked night cast adrift in a sea of need YOU KNOW THIS Strong and swift the current flows, self-renewing, cool and fresh. The tree stands sturdy on the bank, hearty with sap, roots dug in longingly beside the water. Dead leaves combed out by wind settle on the stream. Sorrows and angers ripple down the river that never steps twice. The bough bends in the breeze and does not break. the river flows by itself, and ever flows. PEARL BEYOND PRICE The heart creeps at a snail’s pace, leaving its trail of jewels to mark the path, neither raw sense nor brittle shell, another creature altogether powerful yet armorless. Are we not turned inside out, wriggling softness surrounding an irritating remnant of hope? Good to clam up, protect what you think you are. Bettter still this grain should become a pearl! BROTHER SUN Winking over the wrinkled hills, the sun’s grand eye cannot check his joy, nor from desire but what he is spills light the whole earth over. A second sun greets the first rising in a vault of skull illuminating wrinkled brain. In the lull of a moment, made of common flame, these two watch over you golden fires gathering just over your horizon. BUS STOP Are the sun’s first rays really so dramatic or is waiting for the sun like waiting for the bus? Is sunrise a thing at all or is it endless, embracing day before, day after, kissing the wife goodbye, having coffee with the boss? The moment seems so singular-- the metallic flash, the jingling sound of tumbling fare. But when you put your foot on the step do you wonder where sunrise is going in its long haul? Or whether you will even get there or be forever waiting, transfer in hand? The earth groans through space stopping for all who want to board its lumbering path to release. The sun also wanders, and the galaxy, and probably the Whole Shooting Match, drifting, drifting in grace. Then such scurry for sunset, we rush-hour lemmings! Do tired eyes even notice the parting rays? There is not only beauty and truth at the end of the line. But along the way: tedium, chewing gum on the back of the seat, the careening joy ride polymorphously perverse, the tender viscous passage thick and sweet as the interstellar medium, home from the dance on the late night earth. BALANCE Joy hath no itinerary, but like some bored mischievous god roams the earth a hungry ghost sneaking up on unsuspecting victims. Out of the blue another heart is fingered, laid bare by indiscriminate love! Egos dropping off like flies, what carnage! Suffering gone the way of dinosaurs. Dancing in imagination’s streets. Bygones gone by at last, masks flung off, costumes unbuttoned after the closing act, heroes and villains slapping each other’s backs, the whole cast partying the long night of the soul! Six billion angels dancing on the head of a pin? Who’ll answer the telephone turn the wheels of progress win the lottery? When the whole cosmic egg winds itself back into unfertilized singularity, the Big Bang unbanged, will there be room to dance will there be space for lovers to long across for Adam’s finger to wriggle up toward God’s tendered hand? ZENO’S LESSON Time slides like blood home to the heart. I want to run after, call out wildly, shield you from apocalypse, never part, put a finger in the dyke of doubt. Though I enfold you in love’s rapture I cannot spare you the pain even of my own calloused way! Though I take you in my arms today I cannot detain you from your destiny. A man in the desert am I drawn to your waters. A mirage, you reappear in the distance. Though I hold the hour-glass in hand it is not mine to keep: all the sand of the dunes slips though grain by grain. Not one moment do I capture. Should the river freeze it’s but myself turned to stoney sleep. YOU’LL NEVER KNOW How deep this spring you have tapped from which tears well not of sadness only nor contemplated loss, but a tide of sea-feeling across time rushing to join your waters your stars and mine tugging on puppet heartstrings wringing from our cloths the oils of understanding pain’s bulldozers clearing the wild way on the path overgrown between us man and woman at work, two nerves wandering like lightning in the brain of life toward synapse two halves of a mold burning out in the sacrificial fire two rafts becalmed in the storm’s eye waiting for favorable wind knowing love’s tide pushes always in again OFFENSIVE METAPHORS Desire seeps like melting butter between my stack of hot-cake ribs, emanates microwaves through astral space to baste you in the spreading stain of first winter light, an egg yolk broken at the crack of dawn onto love’s well-oiled griddle. The morning after love has crushed you, idolled you in its many-armed embrace, you scramble to put humpty together again on the far side of the bed. The riddle is: Like all else in the end, what falls into love’s black hole, from the frying pan into the fire? SURRENDER In this hand-to-hand combat I have no weapon against you. Each time you run me through with your stiletto beauty I stagger, uncomprehending. The fists of your laughter pound sweetly on my fainting heart, your glance tears blood away from brain cells dedicated to survival. Your odors claw at my desire, the rays of your softness sear my flesh. Will I not dissolve in the onslaught of your caress? Will not even this bone of an ego be swallowed without contention in the utter delicacy of a kiss? ODYSSEY Happily he lashed himself-- to the great toothed wheel of fate-- all the better to hear the sirens’ call! Already mad with desire, drunken with the urge to fall overboard into the machinery of love-- too late! Let him have his shipwreck, be cast up on your shore. Let his salty lips awaken at your feet-- that is the pilgrimage he longed for, your body his quest for truth. ON USELESS GESTURES Some words are not hammers. Neither are they arms to comfort, to cling, but are space itself-- the emptiness of the open door, the place set for the unexpected guest. In the beginning was pure stammering light: the word fallen flat on its face. But in the first second of the universe who could have guessed butterflies and birds, voices to sing or hearts moved by song? SPECIATION You, gliding joyously in the upper currents, with the slightest cock of your wizened eye take in continents I cannot imagine in my earthbound stride. Do you see me far below, scrambling to follow your shadow across the tidepool bottom? What can I offer you, regal bird, but crustacean ease in the intimacy of denser worlds below? REGRET Flashes of the night of shooting stars one earth year ago. Your silhouette, your voice streak through darkened memory meteors brief as shadows cast by lightning... now count the seconds to the crash of loss relentless as thunder. Throbbing to share this sensuous night to hear your pleasure sparked at such a bright one before your sleepy eyes. And me, proud to have stumbled out here arm-in-arm to show you feral tricks groomed the whole year long for this one fleeting audience ASTRONAUT The break of golden smiles over your face awash with sleep the deep blue summer sky arching its cloudless back in imitation of your endless stretch your own starstruck backside lovely as summer nights disengaging from winter cloud covers a little more each dawn a widening swath of night-blooming jasmine-scented flesh pleasant as evening crickets smoothe as warm milk and drambuie a dizzying confusion of little brown stars floating to pythagorean music down a negative of the milky way the nerve-stripping tease of springtime calling out to the unsteady hand of man resting on the pillow beside you to reach for the stars: one small leap from such outer space STRONG AND LOFTY How I love to lie awake beside your sleeping beauty, kissing your face with my eyes as the sages contemplate their waterfalls, speechless, breathless! You are the little notes I leave myself, the trail of breadcrumbs in the tangled forest because you cannot be forgotten because you are the thundering rush of beauty pouring from the void into the void THE TOUCH Make no mistake about love. This world vows silence, where my body is the slate on which your chalk tenders its wordless message. I am charmed by the poetry of your touch. I am touched by the charm of your poetry. I am poeticised by the light touch of your charm, as your body leaves its trace on mine. Does blackboard desire chalk? Where is this you, this I at the point of contact, in the moment of love spelled out in God’s unmistakable hand? For Hal What a fine day to die! first thought I, sipping the cool dry aperatif of strange news passed like a tray of hors d’oeuvres among convivials seated on the terrace-- all waiting, by the sea in the stark evening sun, each and every one, to be served his own very personal last supper. There go I -- my second thought-- into that furled water’s brisk as I too did there, in the afternoon of other days, this time to swim on and on against current and wind that always blew one back to shore, out of reach now and unheeding the siren voice of the familiar. Third thought: do not mourn an old glove you find upon the beach, nor regret this tunnel through ambiguities-- void passing through void toward inevitable surrender (to itself?) Unlived life grieves all abandoners, and is faithful with its little tricks to rearrange priorities. I walk out upon the gravelly spit, Sit on a log to watch the waters merge like highway lanes. Here the road ends (think I lastly). The eye travels on single file toward that vanishing point where shifting tides meet and a new journey begins. LIGHT in dancing laceworks wafts through crests of undulating glass lulling over the duny bottom as warm breeze meets water’s edge patterns playing also behind the eye in the brain that invents seeing and again in the soul’s enchantment at these delicately layered ripplings LIGHT crystallized from void, aboriginal as morning dew on a rose unfurling light breathes through pores of nothing passes through and through the tie-dyed silken skin of existence through gelatinous films of thought, grain by grain-- for your eyes only-- this incredible son-et-lumiere the magic lantern of a captive hour where seeing is believing the dance of seven zillion veils the greatest show on earth LIGHT holds you in its hand O movie goer and star! you shine with the light of its light as you barefoot through this vale of roses pass and when the last footage flickers through your silver screen career toward brilliant white-out you will know beyond all doubt you are that intensity itself-- the very thrust of life threading through green pastures the scintillation on the seascape the irridescent flash in the dewdrop the gleam in the eye of this luminous flea of a world crawling through the dark fur of eternity For Jack... GRAVITY SUCKS They say you can't take it with you: money, fame, pleasure, pain, dignity... Exits, like entrances, are naked, squishy, abject, absolute. Though anticipated, always surprising like the urgent telegram that makes you leave all behind in haste, like the car abandoned at the side of the road. Even the distillate of memory is too thick too heavy to evaporate with soul's humours. Levity alone rises to the occasion. Four score years of keeping it up draws one vertically in the crossfire between matter and spirit, stretched, then stretching toward final ends, each time with fresh eyes of surrender and feet planted firmly in the soil of beginnings. Gravity teaches balance. Then one day an angel jumps out of the bush to wrestle you finally to the ground. What can you say in that summary instant? "Now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace..."? Or: "Have you got a moment, buddy-- there's something I'm dying to discuss..."? More likely: a gleam in the eye, as grappling cedes to embrace; and the crack of a wry smile that has all eternity to spread INVITATION TO THE DANCE I would dance with you in a steady elevator to heaven through still silent snowfall or cheek to skinny dipping cheek in the sultry eye of a hurricane. I would pause to sway with you as trees grown together windward of music, limbs poised to migrate cell by cell. I would crawl with you through the snail love of carousel giraffes, cavort with you on adolescence' lost savannah. Time would lapse as stars arc to follow the rush of clouds toward declining light. I would spin with you through recorded space galactic arms entwined in the repose of unspoken familiarity thick as blood, in close embrace... OUT OF SEASON Whatever muse he dreams upon I too know, by another name. For now I share his secret smile-- the ivory sage upon the desk wrapped in centuries of saffron bliss, insinuating joy unseasonal as tender shoots in hothouse soil that untimely care arouses, green and innocent of dinning rain. Such starts defy the winter pulse; for vain are new beginnings if the gardener's toil tends not destiny in humid hearts as in glass houses. NIGHT AIRE through the open window cold night air pulls a smile over the world, the whole works: a moment of breath suspended between the tic and the toc, myriad crystallized galaxies scattering like snowflakes turned upside down this breeze, I think, is driven by the very spring that moves the world and joins all things, poised between a snap and dissipation, the endless reverie after (or before) the truly big bang for all the faces, I couldn't find you then cramped in the great rewinding, knowing you were there interlaced in this common world where space is a strange dream of separation and time the riddle of the cake both had and eaten. Only now is there perspective-- room enough to see, to touch you across, tinged unavoidably with longing PENELOPE The hired hand shovels-in the wellspring that bleeds from the world's foundations. There is a path that reaches round the dark side of the moon; each footfall masks a stifled cry behind closed window. Listen to the tune. There is a thing grown hard with time, its coarse hand over the white throat it scarcely recognizes as its own. You can hear the gasp for air fainting with tenderness... A song is handed down in the lithe bodies of children and the wails of crones. A tale yet plainly to be whispered through the baritone lines of history, a clouded vision gathering behind mournful eyes. Never bite the hand that rocks the world; the one you cradled in your breast and groomed to be the wonder of the earth... Look at him now, racing to mars no hands on the handlebars, a hungry ghost! And therefore shall Penelope unwarp the thread that's hers to weave, the pattern unimagined yet by nature or the lethally prosthetic hand of man. She would rather sing in moonlight, by the ancient spring. And what she wills, she can. MUSE The sheer wonder of being here attacks always unexpectedly like a sniper in a shopping mall; gone when you turn to face your assailant. There is always an altar, empty, in the temple of conundrums called love, where no man can enter without fashioning an idol, a pretext for surrender. If longing stalks you, don't report it to the heart police; innocent names will be named, a culprit found. Not even God is above suspicion. To be an intransitive verb, an audience for unconjugated desire... That is the question, or on stage to fake intransigence? Either way, soon enough the theatre will be dark! If my eyes chase your ankles adoringly across the floor, if my hand wanders too often back to yours; how else to embrace this fervor that demands to be danced? COMING ABOUT I retrace your footfalls on ephemeral sands, bejeweled impressions sparkling between dark undertows. See the steps abruptly overwash as though the music stopped, the dancer rapt away, leaving the astonished cheek, the crush of warm embrace emptied like a sail becalmed. Wind knows its business but luffs and flusters when tack is too direct, uncertain which side to rush upon. The sailor too is breathless poised to come about on the sea of endless miracles ALWAYS I thank all the gods I'll never know for the joy of moving with you to feel your heart beat in step close against mine, as though the big sad world had disappeared and there were only love to fill hearts and simple tasks to fill minds I am grateful, too, for bliss whose sudden stabs of absence of overflowing shorn away recall that final theft that there is only this brief oasis whose clever sands no brittle plot withstands I bless this wakeful sap that hazards time has mercy after all that players chance to meet on unknown stages, benignly cast with rhyme if not with reason, that in another season there will always be one more dance... CRYPTIC MESSAGE By gathering phosphenes dropped overboard in space landlocked astronomers surmise life histories of stars long before there were eyes. Their beacons, too, beam love to the reaches of the skies... in case someone's looking by the time light arrives bobbing in its petty pace. |